oh i do try my very best to be not a bastard but my heart is a garden full of bastard fruits and also basil
Lacroix tastes like when your drink is still buffering
Lacroix tastes like someone is sitting next to you thinking really hard about a piece of fruit
good news
14 yr old banger mr brightside is number 69 in the uk charts at the moment
nice
I love driving with my windows down but at what cost??
I’ll tell you whats the cost the other drivers around me can hear me go hard to natasha bedingfield’s iconic bop pocketful of sunshine while yelling at them for being morons who don’t know how to use a turn signal
[reads ur palm] hey… this line here means you think people who read your palms are really hot…….
thor (2011) is an interesting movie to me because i think, despite a few flaws, the reason it never really took off the way iron man or cap:tfa did was because the audience it reached didn’t match the intended audience. the intended audience was so confused by what they saw because it didn’t reflect their ideal in terms of what they thought a thor movie would be, while the audience it ended up attracting claimed the empty spaces and turned their “sub-fandom” into something that practically rejected the fandoms of mcu!iron man and cap at that time
what i’m trying to say here, in essence, is this:
thor (2011) is a chick flick
to prove my point, i went to the world’s most trustworthy database on film analysis, urban dictionary, and found a few definitions obviously written by men
A film that indulges in the hopes and dreams of women and/or girls. A film that has a happy, fuzzy, ridiculously unrealistic ending.
word which refers to movies characteristically geered at young females in their twenties and late teens. Must include: love scenes, kissing, something sad, a happy ending
A sappy film that is generally geared towards women. It is always a love story, usually a comedy, and nausea inducing in men.
Term for a movie geared for women. Quite often seen on cable TV like The Hallmark Channel and endorsed by people like Oprah. These movies make women the heros and show life from a woman’s perspective. Most men hate these films cuz they are cheezy and dumb. Pussy-whipped men like them…or pretend to.
A movie that embodies all that is wrong with the world; a movie which displays a gross over-indulgence into, and exploration of, the workings of the female psyche and the accomanying emotional tendencies.
Pornography for women.
every complaint i have EVER seen about thor (2011) was about anything contained to earth: jane, darcy, not so much selvig, thor being hammer-less and learning to calm down and be gentle, women only liking it because hemsworth is a 6′3 outback steakhouse victoria’s filet mignon with twinkly dream eyes
but i think that’s because that’s the sentimental part of the movie, the emotional part. it’s driven by a romance and the intellect of a woman (arguably two). thor has to learn to get in touch with his softer side in a world that’s a bit more fragile than his own, furthermore there’s no other steaks– i, em, i mean men like him to balance out. there’s no male audience vessel in this movie
none
oh, you’re thinking selvig? i’m thinking not! there’s no male audience vessel.
men can’t relate to this movie
oh, you think they can relate to THOR? in the words of drax, “this is not a dude, you’re a dude. this… is a man”. thor is the ideal boyfriend figure, he belongs to everyone who wants a boyfriend, all the thor stans i know are women and/or like men, if you’re a thor stan and a straight guy i automatically have my suspicions and my eyes are guarded by red flags
#THOR 1 IS A SHAKEPEAREAN CHICK FLICK #THOR IS FOR WOMEN AND THE GAYS AND THAT’S JUST FACTS #the reason why thor’s been called unrelatable for so long was #cos cishet dudes could not fucking relate to him #COS HE A KING MADE OUT OF SUNSHINE WHO LEARNS AND APOLOGISES #FOR HIS MISTAKES #SOMETHING THEY’RE INCAPABLE OF (via @spacefloozy)
You had me at
hemsworth is a 6′3 outback steakhouse victoria’s filet mignon with twinkly dream eyes
I don’t see a lie
achilles’ heelys
Achilles, rolling past Agamemnon w a Capri sun and sunglasses: Who the fuck is this clown??
is he…you know [makes motion of sucking a dick] greek?
is he … you know [makes motion of bribing and murdering people for power in an oligarchic and timocratic war state] roman?
New hip trend: superfluously attributing normal actions and outcomes to divine intervention, Iliad-style
“then Pallas Athene came to me, speaking of the midday sun and of the hunger in my belly, so I ate lunch”
“but Phoebus Apollo clouded my mind with fear and confusion, and that’s why I forgot my keys“
Classics professor: for the last time, you can’t cite ‘The Muse’ as a source for your argument that Achilles and Patroclus were “totally boning”-
